Reflections on Reciprocity
I have been thinking a lot about reciprocity; the state of relating that feels energizing, harmonious, and can be rested in with trust. I think there is a lot of confusion around this concept—it’s not the same thing as being “even with,” or “giving the same as,” or even being “balanced with,” rather it’s a subtle relational experience of flow, fed with awareness and gratitude, and free from comparison.
As we approach a time of year where gifts are exchanged, bonuses are received or aren’t, invites are extended or aren’t, families (chosen or of origin) gather, and the year culminates, there is a lot to pay attention to in the relational field.
What is reciprocity? I see it as a getting out to the way of the intelligent flow of energy that is already happening within a relational field. It’s non interference. Our essence, and most natural state is generous, and receptive. That which blocks the flow of prosperity is reciprocity out of balance. And reciprocity becomes out of balance when there is either clinging or aversion. Clinging as in holding on, greed, and the heaviness that arises as we attempt to adorn the ego with a sense of safety in that is impossible in nature to achieve. And aversion as in the pushing away of experience, rejection, turning away from what’s here. These conditioned reactions are fear based, and not our fault, but they are our responsibility to notice and shift the patterning as best we are able so that our life force can flow efficiently, and without obstruction.
Clinging and aversion feel bad because the natural current of intelligence, or vibration has to go around the dense objects of greed (clinging) or hatred (an extreme form of aversion).
As you consider giving, outreach, or extending, notice what sparked the arising? Natural generosity in my experience, feels warm in the heart. There’s an ease to it, an “of course” to it. Over extension, or a strained giving feels, well, strained, compulsory, mind-based as in, “ it’s my turn to," or "I should," or it’s expected.” How might you soften into the heart space this month to feel the space from which your bids, offerings, and gestures are arising? Sometimes it's not clean cut. It might be a mixture of care, and obligation. See if you can notice what's there, without judgment, and be gentle with yourself as you notice.
And as you consider receiving, noticing if there is any contraction, guilt, pulling away, a sense of indebtedness. Unblocked receptivity feels like a deep and satisfying inhale. Can you let it fill you?
May this serve as an invitation to pay attention to the subtle energies in the flow of reciprocity. May this support you to pay attention to when relations feel easeful, and when they feel more dense or choppy. And to notice how clinging or aversion might be playing a role in the dynamic. I’d love to hear your own reflections on the topic. Drop me a line as inspired. hello@humhum.space
Love,
Alexandra